Grandpa Blues
by nannygirl
Summary: Nobody likes getting old, not even Red Forman. A Red/Kitty fic, please be kind!


_**Disclaimer: **__I own nothing! I've never even met anyone from the show…but boy wouldn't that have been fun?_

_**Author's Note: **__Hello All! Well after having that poll up on my profile for over a month, I've decided to finally post this story. The majority of you seemed to want to read a Red and Kitty fic. I know I did. They're a really cute couple and with out the love in their house the kids probably wouldn't be hanging out in their basement. Anywooo I hope you like it and will review it. I've got another idea for these two in my head, but that'll probably be posted later on. So on with the story, please review I really wanna know what you think! Enjoy!_

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Grandpa Blues

Red Forman walked into the empty waiting area of his muffler shop to get a soda from the new vending machine. He walked over to where his secretary was _supposed_ to be sitting and grabbed the keys to the machine. There was no way he was paying fifty cents for a can of soda he'd already paid for. He grabbed the keys, but froze when he saw what items were resting on the desk.

"Damn it." He groaned.

When Jackie had first asked if she could work in his shop, he'd been surprised. Though she'd helped him several times in his own garage and knew her way around a car as she did a mall, he still couldn't believe this was what she wanted to do. But he gave her the job, and made her promise two things: No talking and no girl stuff filling up the shop.

Of course she'd broken the first rule thousands of times, but she'd been pretty good at sticking to the second one…or at least pretty good at hiding it. That is until now. Now he had a desk full of all kinds of girly crap. There were four different kinds of magazines, some 'healthy' snack bar, nail polish, nail flier and various other make up products.

Red groaned again before opening the bottom cabinet and pushing the items into it; then went to get his soda.

"Red," he heard a feminine voice called and turned around to find Jackie rummaging through the desk top, "did you see the stuff that I had here?"

"Yeah, I saw the stuff we agreed you wouldn't bring in here." He said not noticing her nervous tone, "I put it in that bottom drawer."

Jackie quickly pulled it open and continued her search, "I know, I'm sorry Red. I was just…"she found what she was looking for; a little white stick that she'd hid in a magazine, "Um, I'm sorry."

"What's that?" he asked walking over to her.

"It's um, it's a pregnancy test."

"And?"

Jackie smiled, "I'm pregnant!"

Red grinned as he watched the tiny brunette jump, "Congratulations kid." He said before giving her what was supposed to be a quick hug, but she clung on.

"Thanks Red." She smiled, "This is so exciting! I can't believe this! I'm having a baby _and_ I got married first!"

Red nodded, "Yeah that's great, but Jackie, get that damn pee stick away from me."

"Oh right." Jackie said before letting go of the older man. "Red, I'm gonna be a mom and you and Kitty are gonna be grandparents, and Donna's gonna be an aunt, and Eric, Michael, and Fez are gonna be uncles and Steven's gonna be a dad!" she paused, "Oh my God, Steven. How am I gonna tell him?"

"Well you'll have plenty of time to think of that while you're up here." Red said causing Jackie to frown with confusion.

"But I thought I was gonna help you with that Grand Torino?"

"Not anymore." Red said as he shook his head, "Those fumes aren't good for the baby. So you'll be working up here for the next nine months, got it?"

Jackie smiled at the concern Red had for her baby, "Got it."

"Good." He responded before heading back to work on the Torino, but Jackie stopped him.

"Hey Red, you wanna come with me to lunch, to help celebrate?"

"No thanks, I've got a lot of work to do here…"

"Please _Grandpa_."

Red sighed, "Just bring me back something…"

"I'll let you order a double bacon cheese burger and won't tell Kitty." Jackie offered with a large grin, she knew that would do the trick.

"You get the car and I'll lock up." Red ordered before he started his routine lock up.

******

A few minutes later Red found himself walking beside his daughter-in-law as they made their way to the closest Fatso Burger. He'd made a mental note to have Jackie lock up next time and he would start the car.

"Why the hell did we have to walk?" Red asked upset, "The place is three blocks away!"

"Because it's _only_ three blocks away." Jackie said with a smirk.

Red scowled, "I should've known there was a catch behind that burger."

"Well we've gotta keep you healthy, so you can see Little Jackie or Little Steven grow up."

The two walked in silence, a silence Red was thankful for, a silence he wasn't used to. When he reached the last crosswalk, he noticed something was missing. Looking behind him he found Jackie, window shopping at one store before walking in. Red shook his head and decided he'd wait for her at the restaurant.

As he waited for the traffic to slow down and for the walking signal to come on, he heard an unfamiliar voice address him.

"Good afternoon sir. I am a Boy Scout, whose many purposes are protecting nature and helping others."

Red looked down to see a young boy, not more than ten, standing beside him wearing his full Boy Scout uniform.

"Would you like me to help you across the street?"

"No." he answered hoping that would be the end of it.

"It is a duty that I would be proud to do." The little boy went on, "The elderly are the top people who we Boy Scouts, must help."

"What did you call me?"

"Elderly, sir?"

"Listen kid," Red began to explain, "I'm not elderly. I don't think you know what elderly is…"

"Elderly means old or older. Anyone who is older then someone is considered elderly."

"What the hell are you a walking dictionary?"

The Boy Scout shook his head, "No sir, I am a Boy Scout, whose purpose…"

"Yeah, yeah. We went over that." Red said holding up his hand, "But you see…you see that old lady over there?" Red pointed to a very old woman who had to use a walker, standing nearby; the little boy nodded his head. "She's elderly, right?" again the boy nodded, "So why don't you go help her?"

"Nah, I like to be original."

Red groaned as he rubbed the side of his head, this kid was getting really annoying. Of course all kids annoyed Red, but this kid…he was a Boy Scout. Something his son quit after being in it for a year, earning only one badge that dealt with learning how to tie stupid knots. And the only reason he'd earned that was because his apron kept coming undone, so Kitty taught him the different types of knots.

"Alright, look kid, I'm gonna explain to you one more time, why you can't help me cross the street. No one will believe you." The little boy frowned with confusion, "They're not gonna believe that you're helping the elderly, they'll think your just walking with your dad across the street."

The Boy Scout looked up at Red looking slightly confused, "But you don't look like my dad."

Red sighed; this was why he hated kids.

"I meant we look around the same age. I don't care if I don't look like him."

"I know what you meant." the little boy said with a nod of his head, "You don't look the same age as my dad. You look more like my grandpa."

Now Red was upset. Sure he was becoming a grandpa, but he didn't need to be told he looked like one before he was one. He began to glare at the young boy, causing him to slowly back away.

"I think I'll find another old person to help." he said before running off.

Red shook his head before noticing that the signal to walk had been given. At the same moment that he made it to the other side of the street, he heard the Boy Scout's voice again.

"Good afternoon sir. I am a Boy Scout, whose many purposes are protecting nature and helping others. Would you like me to help you across the street?"

His curiosity got the best of him and Red turned around to see the boy's next victim. Across the street the Boy Scout stood next to a very elderly looking man, glasses, walker and everything else an old person was said to have.

"Why thank you, sonny." the elderly man answered and the young boy carefully linked their arms together before they both slowly, very slowly, crossed the street.

Red frowned before he turned around and continued on his way, there was no way he and that old man fell in the same age rank. Taking a few more steps forward, Red reached his destination and walked inside the fast food restaurant. His anger about the previous event disappeared from his mind as he headed to front of the line to the cash register so he could place his order. His luck was slowly coming back.

"Hello sir, welcome to Fatso Burger. How may I help you today?" an acne faced teenage boy asked from behind the counter.

"I'll take a double bacon cheese burger with everything on it and a large, nice, cold root beer." Red explained his mouth already beginning to water, it had been ages since he'd eaten anything like this and after today it would probably be ages before he could eat it again.

The teenage boy nodded his head, "Is that all?"

Red looked behind him Jackie had yet to show up.

"Uh, go ahead and give me one of those salads and small cup diet crap you call soda." he figured it would save time if he ordered for Jackie.

"Ok sir, that'll be $15.75."

Red reached into his back pocket and grabbed his wallet, "$15.75, huh? You guys have some sort of special?" he asked usually his total came out to at least three dollars more.

"No sir," the cashier said reaching for the dollar bills, "a discount."

"What kind of discount?" Red asked pulling the money towards him and out of the young man's reach.

"A Senior Citizen discount."

Red scowled, slightly frightening the young man, "Then why are you giving it to me?"

The cashier gulped, "Because you're a senior…"

"Like hell I am." Red argued, "I'm as much of a senior as you dumbass, fast food, high school dropouts!"

"But sir…"

"No buts. Now you're going to get rid of this dumbass discount you've given me and charge me full price." Red ordered, "Or I'll stick my foot so far up your ass you'll be walking like a senior citizen for the rest of your life. Got it?"

The teenager nodded, "That'll be $20.34, sir…uh man…dude."

Red rolled his eyes as he handed the money to the cashier and then waited for his meal. By now his audience had put their attention back on their meals, except for one who Red could hear a mile away.

"What did he say?!"

Red turned around to see an old man, who obviously had gotten the discount Red refused, talking to the young man who sat beside him. That was a Senior Citizen, not Red. No, Red Forman could hear perfectly fine.

******

Later that evening Red had come home and parked himself on the couch and infront of the TV to catch a hockey game. The house was quiet, just the way he liked it. As the game came to a closing and the sports announcers began to talk about the different plays and strategies, his paradise was brought to an end.

"Honestly Red, I can hear that television all the way at Bob's house." Kitty said as she walked in from the kitchen in her nurses' uniform.

Red frowned as he watched her, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, turn it down."

Red grabbed the remote and instead of turning the volume up higher as Kitty had predicted he'd do, he actually turned it down. This concerned his wife. With a worried frown on her face she walked away from the staircase and walked over to her husband.

"Red, honey, are you ok?" she asked placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Huh?" Great now he was loosing his memory…no wait he knew what she asked him, "Oh yeah, I'm fine Kitty."

"Red." Kitty said not believing him.

"Kitty…"

"Red."

Red sighed as he saw the look that said he wouldn't win this. After receiving it thousands of times for over twenty-five years, he could instantly recognize it.

"Why do I even try?"

"I don't know." Kitty said before laughing and taking a seat next to Red, she patted his knee, "Now come on, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong Kitty," Red began, "I just had a bad day."

"Well what happened?"

"It's just…Kitty am I old?"

Kitty looked at her husband slightly shocked by his question, it sounded like something she might ask. "Well you're older than me."

Her answer did not please Red and he gave out another deep sigh, soon Kitty realized what the problem was.

"Red," she began, "are you afraid of growing older?"

"Of course not." He argued, "I'm not afraid of anything." Seeing Kitty's left eyebrow raise he figured he'd better explain, "Kitty, all day long today I've had people thinking that I'm a senior citizen. _Me_!" Kitty laughed as he went on, "I had a damn Boy Scout asking me if _I_ need help crossing the street and the cashier at Fa…the place I got lunch at, gave me a senior citizen discount!"

"Oh Red, that's nothing try being called ma'am when your twenty two." Kitty said as she shook her head, "Honey, everyone gets old, you and me…" seeing her husbands shocked expression she continued, "That's right I said it. I may have a few glasses of wine in me, but I still said it."

"I know that Kitty. I have no problem with that. It's just the fact that, people aren't supposed to see me as old."

"What do you mean?"

"Alright look, if people start seeing me as old, they're gonna start thinking I'm one of those lovable, friendly, old men. And I'm not! I'm supposed to look like one of those men you don't want to bother, even if it's to ask for the time. I'm supposed to be intimidating not approachable, for God sake!" Red declared.

"I know sweetie." Kitty comforted, "But you know you'll always be scary to our kids."

"Yeah," Red agreed, "but they're dumbasses, they don't count."

Kitty nodded, "Well what about me?"

"What about you?" he asked confused.

"Does the way I see about you count?" Red frowned still confused, "Because I don't see you as old at all."

"You don't?"

Kitty shook her head, "Nope. I see you just as you are, Red Forman. A man who has survived everything, who has fought for his country twice. The man who I fell in love with thirty three years ago. A man who has provided for his family, even during some hard times, who now has his own muffler shop, who would do anything for his family. I see a man who will threaten _anyone_ with a foot in the rear comment, just to make sure he gets his way. You Red Forman are not old."

Red gave a small smirk, this was just one of the many reasons he loved his wife. He kissed her cheek "Thanks sweetheart."

Kitty smiled, "Ok, now see this is where you say something nice to me. Like how you don't see any wrinkles…"

Red groaned, "Do I have to?"

"Unless you wanna sleep out here on the couch for the rest of the week, then yes you do."

Red sighed "Kitty, I don't see any wrinkles…"

"Oh Red, don't use the same one I gave you." Kitty said as she crossed her arms.

"Because what I see is our life together." Red continued and Kitty's anger slowly faded away as he sighed once again, "Every little line on your forehead, that you think is so big, is from every dumbass thing our kids did that had us worrying. From the nights we stayed up worrying about Laurie's future to worrying about Eric in Africa to worrying that Steven and the loud one would never get married. And all those other creases show nothing but all the times you've given out that beautiful smile and matching laugh, I fell in with thirty…"

"Three."

"Three years ago. All that wine you drink well it must of gotten in your blood or something because as time goes by, you just keep getting better and better."

Kitty smiled as tears shined in her eyes. "Oh Red." She said before leaning in and kissing her husband.

Seconds later, Red brought the kiss to an end but left his arms around Kitty.

"What do you say we go upstairs, _Grandma_?" he asked huskily causing Kitty to giggle.

"Oh Red, grandma. I think you're going a little too far I mean neither of the girls are…"suddenly a thought entered her mind, "Oh my God, is Donna pregnant?! They're not even married…"she gasped and pulled farther away from Red as she put two and two together, "Oh my God it's Jackie! Jackie's having a baby! She's gonna be a mommy and Steven's gonna be a daddy! Oh Red you're gonna be a grandpa and…I'm gonna be a grandma!"

She jumped up from her seat as Red watched in amazement. How the hell did she figure that all out from _one_ word?

"Oh I've got to call someone!" Kitty said excitedly, "Ooh maybe Steven and Jackie! We can have dinner and celebrate!"

Red shook his head as he heard what his wife was saying; he quickly jumped onto his feet.

"Kitty, no. Sit down." Red said as he helped Kitty back onto the couch and then taking a seat himself, "Now, Jackie just found out today and she hasn't told Steven yet. And I don't want him finding this out from anyone but _her_."

Kitty looked at her husband looking both understanding and anxious, "Oh I know Red… I just…I have to tell someone!" she said slightly shaking in her seat.

Red couldn't help but chuckle as he watched her excitement, another thing he loved about her.

"You know Kitty," Red started as he placed his arm around her waist, stopping her shaking, "we could still go _celebrate_."

Kitty turned to look at her husband and the two locked eyes. Not a second later, they dashed upstairs. Yup, not even age could slow these two down.

The End

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_**Author's Note: **__So what's you think? Yay or Nay? Please lemme know what you think! Until next time, thanks for reading, hope you liked, please review, take care and have a nice day!_


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